Random midnight post

Laziness is my middle name. So many posts to catch up on, not least of all my Run Melbourne recap, which was epic!

I guess maybe this laziness in blogging is not such a bad thing - because I'm actually out there living my life instead of writing about it on my computer. And interesting things have been happening lately - I have been meeting boys!

Since the breakup I've had absolute zero interest in boys. Didn't want 'em, couldn't be bothered. Last thing I wanted was to put myself out there and risk getting hurt or rejected. My heart needed to heal and I needed time to myself. Time to explore my newfound singledom, and to enjoy the freedom that being single brings.

Not much has changed with me in terms of wanting the freedom to do my own thing. I'm still not yet interested in commitment. Not another relationship, not right now. But that doesn't mean I'm not open to the idea of meeting new people, making new friends and going on a date or two! Because, despite my lack of interest in commitment, like most human beings I'm still very interested in the company of others. Even better when cuddles are involved. And *gasp* maybe even kisses!

So? Well, let's just say that I am having a rather nice time :)

Also...on another front, three people have said that I should try online dating (haha). And when three people tell you do to something, it might actually be a good idea. I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to put myself out there as yet, but who knows, I may dip a toe in the waters of online dating, just to see if there are any sharks (or piranhas!) in there.

Running status update

I realise that I haven't been blogging much about my running lately - and I think that's because it has become part of my life, and less so something that I have to keep documenting to remain motivated.

And that's not a bad thing. That running has become part of my life routine, just like eating, sleeping and going to work. I eat, I sleep, I run. And I run so that I can keep eating yummy food (hello carbs, hello desserts, and HELLO chocolate)

The weather today has somewhat stumped my plan to run 10k today. It's been cold, wet and windy. All at once. Which kinda sucks because I've got my first Run Melbourne 10k event next Sunday!

Look, I've even got my race number:

I already did the MS 10k fun run at Albert Park in June, so I know I can run 10k. But it'll be nice to tick off the major fun runs for the year as I go. At the moment I'm seriously contemplating the half-marathon at the Melbourne Marathon event in October. Doubling the distance from 5k to 10k is one thing, but doubling that to 21.1k is something else! As for the full marathon - 42.2k - let's not even go there o_O

My training plan for this week is to run a 5k tomorrow (Monday), possibly do a hill workout on Wednesday, and a steady 8k or so on Friday. And maybe a light run on Saturday just to keep the legs fresh. Just hope I can wake up in time on Sunday!

Out on the town

Still slacking over the Malaysia and HK trip posts, but not to worry! While I get my travel-blogging, photo-uploading shit together, here are some nice piccies and food pr0n to tide you over :)

Over the weekend my fantastic friend the lovely Miss M and I checked into The Hotel Windsor and played tourists in our own city. Not a bad thing to do from time to time - I think we get so sucked into our boring regular day-to-day routines that we often forget that we're living in quite a spectacular city. Yes, Melbourne. You are spectacular, despite your crowded peak hour trains and bogan boys who ask me if I know kung-fu (I thought we were past that, fellas?).

So I got this awesome-awesome room deal over the interwebs (how I love thee!) - $209 for a deluxe room (read: upgrade!) with complimentary French sparkling rose, internet and a leisurely 1.30pm checkout.

Anyhoo, we threw open our room door and saw this:

This room is bigger than my flat!

TWO double beds? Spoilt, much?

Hello, bathroom.

High ceilings and beautiful, big windows.

Walk-in closet.

This is, like, a dressing area.

Chilled sparkling rose awaits! 

Oh my.

Now this was all very exciting because we've been watching Downton Abbey (look it up! With the power of Google) and this was all veerryy Downton Abbey. Especially when we failed miserably with opening the champagne bottle and had to, very sheepishly, ring for help! And, seriously, I kid you know, the hotel butler came up and opened it for us. Really. He was all dressed up, with coat tails and everything. It was all we could do to stop ourselves from swanning about pretending that we live in a huge Victorian/Edwardian manor and affecting posh British accents  ^_^

After a couple of glasses of champers, it was on to Ezard for our 9.30pm booking. Yay! Words cannot express how excited I am about eating here. Not only because it was Ezard, but also because it's been a while since I've been out on the town. I've blogged about our Ezard experience in a separate blog post - check it out.

By the time we finished dinner, it was 1am. YUP. One. A.M. In the morning. But it was one of the most amazing meals I've had in a while, and the service was impeccable. If only I had the dosh to do this more often (not to mention the personal trainer to help me burn it all off afterwards)!

With the city on our doorstep, the delightful Miss M and I went to see about a nightcap. I really wanted to go to the Emerald Peacock for cocktails, but when we got there - it was shut. We then see if Madame Brussels would be open - she, too, was shut :( I thought places opened til much later on weekends?! I know I haven't been out on the town in a while, but surely things haven't changed that much?

We ended up walking back to Bourke St and to the Melbourne Supper Club. It was the one place I knew would still be open. The place was abuzz with late-night patrons and both the bar and kitchen were pumping. Guess we're not the only ones still eating at this time of night (notwithstanding the crowd at Stalactites, of course!).

Both Miss M and I were so stuffed from our eight-course degustation that there was no way we could fit any more food in, so we ordered a couple of Baileys on ice to top off the night. I know, I know - who drinks Baileys on ice anymore, right? But hey, who says it's not due for a revival? I bet that we could bring it back and make the uncool, cool again ;-)

By the time we rolled into our glorious double beds (one each!), it was 4am. And there was still some champers left.

The next morning we woke up at around 9.30am (I think) and took our time getting ready, thanks to our 1.30pm check out time (yay!). We checked out earlier than that though. We left our bags at the hotel and went off in search of brunch.

I've heard lots of good things about this cafe called Hardware Societe, so we headed there in hopes of getting some good coffee and breakfast/brunch. Tucked away in Hardware St, this cafe ticked all the boxes indeed - check out my blog post on Hardware Societe.

With food in our bellies and coffee buzz in our minds, Miss M and I went shopping. I bought an oversized beanie (apparently they're all the rage) and stocked up on daily essentials like A'kin shampoo and body wash at David Jones. There was a queue outside Zara, so we didn't bother.

What a productive yet relaxing weekend. We wined and dined, explored our city and its laneways, had great coffee and had some retail therapy as well. It's really nice to play tourist in your own city once in a while, you gain a different perspective and the city becomes more than just that place you go to for work. It's experiences like this that make me fall in love with Melbourne all over again.

Ezard

We went to Ezard a few weekends ago, as part of my Out on the Town excursion with the lovely Miss M.

After revelling in our fabulous hotel room at the Hotel Windsor over a bottle of French sparkling rose, we arrived at Ezard at around 9.45pm - fashionably late for our 9.30pm booking (we did ring ahead to say we were running late though!).

A quick squiz at the menu, and we decided on the eight-course degustation (vegetarian for Miss M) and two glasses of red - a syrah from Heathcote, Vic - after the champers we weren't so sure we could do a bottle :P

Anyway, on to the food!

There was a tray of salt and olive oil on the table - this was to accompany the bread, according to our waitress. The olive oil was infused with parmesan and rosemary. The idea was to dip our piece of bread into some olive oil, then crust it with the salt. I think we also had an amuse bouche but I didn't get a photo.

Three types of salt, and olive oil infused with parmesan and rosemary

Close up of the salts - I liked the middle one best!

The salt mixes were - and I'm going on memory here - bonito/pepper/seaweed, sugar and chilli, and Szechuan pepper/some ash thingy. (Yeah. Great memory).

First course was a Japanese-inspired oyster shooter. First, suck down the oyster, infused in a delicate broth, then chase it with the spoonful of fennel puree with nam jim. The black blob you kinda see in the photo is a soba noodle sushi roll. So good.

Course 1 - Oyster shooter

Next, a yellowfin tuna sashimi topped with the most delicate bonito panacotta, dotted with blobs of sticky soy and horesadish cream, finished with some wasabi foam. Another winning dish. The freshness of the sashimi was well complemented by the saltiness of the panacotta, and the horseradish cream packed a big punch of flavour for two small blobs of things.

Course 2 - yellowfin tuna sashimi, bonito panacotta, wasabi foam, sticky soy, horseradish cream

Two courses in, and I've used the word 'delicate' twice already. And that's the food at Ezard. Delicate, but flavoursome. There's a freshness about the food that is a welcome change from previous dining experiences, where every course seemed laden with butter, cream or a rich jus (exception being Quay).

The third course was a blue swimmer crab dumpling, with soy butter and taro crisps. It was pretty good, but not exactly memorable, considering the number of dumpling specialists in Melbourne these days.

Course 3 - steamed blue swimmer crab dumpling, soy butter, taro crisps

Halfway through the degustation now, and it's a good one. Crispy fried polenta served on a bed of mushrooms and peas, topped with a parmesan crisp and a poached quail's egg, and garnished with shaved black truffles. Decadent. So decadent.

Course 4 - polenta on a bed of veggies, parmesan crisp, poached quail's egg, shaved black truffles

Now for some seafood. A perfectly steamed mulloway fillet with an awesome tasting sauce, on a pillow of soft rice noodles and veggies. Very clean flavours, delicate (again!) yet well-balanced.

Course 5 - mulloway fillet, rice noodles, veggies

By the time the pork belly arrived, I could barely move. Felt really stuffed and had to get up and walk to the bathroom and back, in the hopes that the activity will shift things around in my belly and make some space for this awesome course. Did I mention that pork belly was involved?

Mmm. Pork belly. Bangalow pork belly with a fresh salad and dressing (think apple and celeriac) and a piece of cracking crackling. Yum yum yum.

Course 6 - Bangalow pork belly, salad and pork crackling

Ok ok. Deep breaths now. One more savoury course to go! And here it is - Chinese five-spiced roast duck on a bed of sticky coconut rice, baby bok choy, and a generous sprinkling of fine carrot crisps. The duck was perfectly cooked, slightly pink in the middle and still juicy, with a suitably salty, five-spiced skin.

Course 7 - Five-spiced Chinese roast duck, sticky coconut rice, baby greens and carrot crisps

Before dessert - a palate cleanser made from Calpico soda! With some melon and mint. How cute :D

Calpico soda, melon and mint palate cleanser

We all know that dessert goes into a separate stomach. We went with the dessert tasting platter for an extra $15. Well worth it, I say!

Dessert tasting plate. Ain't it purdy?

Of course, we HAD to take individual dessert photos. We worked our way around the platter, starting with the honey crunch ice-cream on a slice of toasted gingerbread, wearing a jaunty sugar swirl hat.

Honeycrunch ice-cream, toasted gingerbread, sugar swirl

And a rhubarb (and peach?) clafoutis, garnished with sago and pomegranate. The tartness of the pomegranate went really well with the sweetness of the clafoutis (which was probably what the chef was aiming for!)

Rhubarb clafoutis, sago, pomegranate

Another delicate one - this is an apple and rhubarb crumble.

Apple and rhubarb crumble

I just love how this one looks. Pear and caramel parfait with salted popcorn and Persian fairy floss. So pretty to look at, and so delicious.

Pear and caramel parfait, salted popcorn, Persian fairy floss

Another winner here. A pistachio frangipane with some caramelised strawberries and some type of yummy sauce (yes I'm such a sophisticated food critic).

Pistachio frangipane, caramelised strawberries

And last but not least, a bittersweet chocolate torte with five-spiced kumquats and delicate chocolate wings. The kumquats cut through the richness of the chocolate, and the torte reminded me of Quay's seven-layered chocolate cake, although it certainly couldn't hold a candle to that awesome chocolate creation at Quay.

Bitterwseet chocolate torte, five-spiced kumquats, chocolate wings

I didn't take photos of Miss M's vego feast, but it was designed along the same lines as the omnivorous one, with substitutes for the meat. For example, she got Jerusalem artichokes instead of fish (if I remember the course pairings correctly!).

By the time we rolled out of there, after coffee and petit fours, it was 1am. Yup. You read correctly. We had a three-hour, eight-course degustation. Indulgent and decadent. I felt like we needed to put our feet up and loosen our belts afterwards, I haven't eaten so much in ages.

Indulge in a two-hat dining extravaganza:
Ezard at Adelphi
187 Flinders Lane, Melbourne
+61 3 9639 6811

Alone time in Brunswick East

Today was a "do-stuff-on-my-own" kinda day. Although it also ended up being a "spend-a-lot-of-money" kinda day too.

First up - a much needed haircut. The salon I go to had rang me two weeks ago saying that my hairdresser had quit (!!!) hairdressing totally (because of an ongoing neck injury) and that they will let me know when they get someone new. I was like "ohmigawd, hasn't there been enough change and upheaval in my life already?!" Yeah, I'm dramatic like that. I've been going to her for like, years! Her quitting is like me having shit hair all over again.

Anyway. She rang last week and said that she's gonna be doing some work from home with some regular clients and would I like an appointment? HELLZ YEAH! And there I was, today, at 10.30am, at her apartment in Brunswick East.

Now, I've driven through/past Brunswick East a few times, but never really hung out there. I've been to Matsumoto on Lygon St, which is just past the Carlton end, and once to Atticus Finch, but haven't really had a chance to check out all the cool cafes that have been popping up in the area over the last few years.

Both my hairdresser and a workmate told me to check out this cafe called A Minor Place. I've heard of this cafe before, and it has probably been reviewed by every food blogger in Australia, so this post is probably not going to be in any way revolutionary. So, from here on, I will be endeavour to be quite brief with words.

And...yes. Me. Alone Time. Brunch. At A Minor Place. Soy latte. Scrambled eggs on toast with avocado and tomato. Eggs were really really good, with lots of chive. In fact, I haven't had such good scrambled eggs in a while. Total outlay: $19.70.

Messing around with the camera. As you do.

I think this shot would've looked much better with people in it.

Soy latte at A Minor Place

Alone time. Me, a book and brunch.

Scrambled eggs, toast, avocado and tomato at A Minor Place.

I wanted to go to Padre/Brunswick East Project after lunch to see about some coffee beans, and managed to walk past the place without realising it. Doh.

I really liked the look of this place. So many nice thing to photograph! But I got a bit shy with the camera and managed to snap this one stealthily. I try not to take too many photos of strangers, in case they jump online and somehow find that photo and see their face without expecting it. Don't know why I feel this way, it's just another weird thing about me I guess :P

Check out the coffee paraphernalia.

Got my coffee beans (Padre blend), and let the guy talk me into buying a hand grinder as well (for $78!). Um...I thought I was saving for Canada? Well, I guess the grinder has been a long time coming, it's been on my to-buy list for ages now, and I was feeling whimsical today. Hanging out by yourself does that to you.

And since I can't not have a coffee while I'm there, here's a photo of another soy latte. I must say it was better than the one at A Minor Place. I like my coffee a bit stronger, to cut through the slight sweetness of the soy milk, and this one did that. The one I had at A Minor Place, while still good, was a little bit weak for my liking.

Another soy latte. At Brunswick East Project/Padre.

For dinner I did what most single people would probably do on a Saturday night - have seafood tom yum noodle soup at your local Thai joint. To Thai Saffron on the corner of Riversdale and Burwood Roads I went. And felt a bit sad and lonely with my tom yum noodle soup, as every table in the joint consisted of couples or families. I guess single people tend to get takeaway so that we can sob quietly (or loudly) into our tom yum noodle soup in the comfort of our own homes.

And that was my day. Alone time was fine in the morning, but turned into a bit of a self-pity party at dinnertime, as evidenced by the above. Anyhoo - 10k run tomorrow! Hope that will make me feel better.

Of travel, living life and healing

Oh, hello. Long time no see. I realise it's been a long time between posts (more than a month - but in blog time it might as well have been a year!). There's been much going on, and you know what, it actually feels nice to say that I haven't been blogging because I've been too busy living life :)

Yes, much has been happening since my last blog post on Anzac Day. First, I went on a holly-holiday to Malaysia and Hong Kong - yahh! Pics and blog posts to come. It was a really really good trip - lots of family time and awesome food and some amazing healing too. Then it was back to Melbourne, where I think things started coming together and I began, slowly and step-by-step, to pull myself together again. I also ran the MS Fun Run - 10k, y'all!! - and started to recover at work too. And...this is the best one...I've just submitted my last assignment. Ever.

But more on all that later.

It's really starting to feel like this year is one of new beginnings. They may not all be good (insert my breakup here), but they are here nonetheless. I guess at the end of the day they can all be viewed as being good - after all it is what you choose to view a certain situation and what you choose to make of it that really defines it. And when something ends - like a relationship with someone you thought you'd marry or when your hairdresser quits hairdressing and leaves you hyperventilating with panic because ohmigod who is going to cut my hair now?! (all true and happened to me!) - it's also an opportunity to start something new. Explore new possibilities. Broaden your horizons and all that.

And the opportunities are endless. I mean, you can do just about ANYTHING you want. Which is something that I am slowly starting to realise, and relish, now that I am starting to emerge from that foggy haze I've been lost in for the last two months. I can do anything.

I can eat whatever I want, when I want. I can read in bed all day, or I can go for a run. I can flirt with boys and not feel guilty (the best part!). I can try new hairdressers, get new hair styles. It's like I have an open datebook, all I gotta do is pencil in all those awesome possibilities.

Ok, you can still do all of the above even if you're in a relationship. In my case, however, the realisation of all this freedom and possibility is quite significant and a super giant step for me, given that I've spent the last couple of months being tied down by my own sadness. Being entangled in all those negative emotions and self-loathing, of feeling unworthy of love (because, if the person who's supposed to love me the most, doesn't love me anymore - then who else could?).

So yeah. There is much to look forward to, although I'm being careful to take things one step at a time, and not to jump into anything before I'm ready or if I'm uncomfortable with it. After all, I've only just hit the reset button on my life and it will take some time to get back out there. I feel, in some ways, like I'm starting to rebuild and so far I've got this really fragile veneer up - my protective walls that keep me insulated (as much as they can) from pain and hurt. But right now they are really fragile, like the slightest poke will take them down (don't even mention the thought of seeing him again - not sure how that would go!). So it's gonna be slowly, slowly for now.

Why I run

In 14 weeks of running I have:

• completed the Couch to 5k program (yay me!)
• did a 4k fun run (my first ever)
• lost 5kg (woohoo! The perks of exercise)
• finished my first ever 5k event (Run for the Kids)
• signed up for my first 10k (hello, Run Melbourne!)

Running is also helping me get through a rather painful break up - I'm just trying to get through each day at a time and running helps in so many ways. It clears my head, gets me moving so I'm not just sitting around at home moping, and helps me work through all these emotions that are swimming around inside me. It's also something I do for myself, something that is just all about me. Running teaches me patience - I need to conquer each kilometre step by step, to start slow and finish strong, and to work on adding those k's week by week, one at a time. 

Running is helping me heal, both inside and out.

I can't wait to see what the coming months will unfold. 

Mission accomplished: Run for the Kids 5.2k recap

So I officially ran a 5.2k race on Sunday. With proper timing chip and all. Which means that my Couch to 5k mission has been officially accomplished.

Thank you very much *takes a bow*

I should probably change my Couch to 5k mission tag. Will get around to it at some point, promise.

Anyway, here's my little race recap of my Run for the Kids 5.2k adventure.

Woke up really early (as in early for me!) Sunday morning for the race. Early as in 6.30am. Early as in "I don't even get up for work this early". Got dressed, walked the dog and just had enough time to make a coffee and toast with peanut butter, before dashing out the door. It was a slightly frosty morning but temps were expected to hit 22C that day.

Caught the train with Gus to Flinders Street Station, where we met up with the lovely Sarah M. There were heaps of people on the train, all decked out in their race gear, number bibs and timing chips. At Flinders Street there was a sea of runners all making their way to the Botanical Gardens and the start line. The toilet queues were massive - at the train station, the public toilets and the portaloos. So I decided to hold it in until after the race.

We found Sharon, who was meeting us at the skate park by the Yarra River boat sheds, and headed off to store our bags. The atmosphere was festive for that time of the morning. Everyone was pumped and ready to run (or walk), which was great to see and rather infectious. By the time we got our bags into the correct zones and made it back to the starting zone, the race was about to start.

The 5.2k start was at 8.45am, with the 14.38k heading out about half-an-hour later. At the start line, I could see that this was a race for all sorts of people, of all ages. There were friends there, whole families, serious runners, not-so-serious runners, walkers, kids and parents with prams. Some were decked out in high tech race gear, some dressed up in costumes and some wore t-shirts with a picture of the person or child to whom they were dedicating the run. It was quite moving and, at times, quite sad to read the backs of those t-shirts - it really drives home the purpose of this run and why it is such an important fund-raising event.

Just as the first waves of starters began moving towards the start line, and we were shuffling in that general, I suddenly had this urge to pee. Like really bad. I had to abandon the group and join the line of last-minute panic pee-ers at the skate park toilet block. When I got out I was stuck behind the walkers, kids and parents with prams.

As soon as my feet crossed the start line I started to dodge and weave through the slower crowd, and that was me for about half of the race - I was mostly slowed down getting stuck behind the walkers and had to constantly search for a little gap I could squeeze through without knocking anyone over. A couple of times I actually jumped off the paved path and ran on the dirt track - cross country, y'all.

I started off at a slow, relaxed pace (not that I had much choice), and as we cruised down Batman Avenue, the sun came out and the weather warmed up, setting the scene for a really pleasant run. I stuck to my race plan (start off slow, build up and finish strong), which felt really good. Around the 3k mark it became easier to dodge the walkers and overtake slower joggers (that felt really good too!). Once we were on Birdwood Avenue I noticed this girl keeping pace with me. We sort of overtook each other for a bit, until the final k where I stepped up my pace and left her behind - yay!

Going around the bend I could see the finish line and the crowds. I started sprinting in the last few hundred metres and gave it all I got. It felt awesome crossing that finish line - it was such a high that I wanted to go back and do the whole race all over again!

My time was 38:11, which wasn't bad considering it was a 33,000-strong event and that it was a fun run/walk. This has given me the confidence and inspiration to push beyond the 5k and achieve longer distances. The race also gave me that emotional boost, considering recent heartbreaking events. I'm glad that I chose to come out and race, when I so easily could've been huddled under my doona with a box of tissues and bawling my eyes out.

If only other things in life were this great.

Milestone coming up!

Tomorrow I will be running my first ever 5k race - Run for The Kids. Well, 5.2k to be precise :)

Although, my excitement about reaching this milestone in my running has been somewhat overshadowed by recent events...sigh :(

Maybe that's a good thing, because all I'll wanna do is just go there, stand at the starting line, do my race and, hopefully, will feel some sense of accomplishment at the end. I'm sure I will tomorrow, but right now, at this very moment, I just feel...Bleh.

I will turn this into something positive. This race is meant to be something positive for me, it's a super important part of my Couch to 5k mission and I will not let things get me down. I just need to focus and channel my energies into doing the best 5.2k run that I possibly can. I will not let him be the reason for me not running well. I need to reclaim myself and reclaim my strength.

Ok, that was my pep talk for the day. Hope I can still remember and hang on to this tomorrow! Now, off to have a shower, pin my race number on my shirt, attach my timing chip to my shoe, and go to bed. :)

Massive fail

Just when you think you're winning at Life, Life turns around and says "Hah! I've been tricking you all along! Take this! And this! How about this? Take it too!"

It lulls you into a false sense of security, then tackles you to the ground. Throws you a sucker punch. Kicks you in your gut. Tells you exactly how you're NOT winning at Life, despite what you might have been led to believe.

No point going into details here, but The Boy moved out tonight. Yup, my partner and best friend in the world of almost four years pretty much turns around and walks out the door. Away from me. Away from us, and the life we built together, all the plans we made, everything.

I thought he was the one. This was the bestest and most stable relationship I had ever been in - as in, it felt like a proper relationship. We had our ups and downs, like any other relationship. But no matter what there wasn't a day where I didn't feel safe, or loved; and I'd like to think that I did the same for him. I was so sure of it, so sure of us, that I had complete faith that even if we were separated by distance - like if I went overseas to work or if he went overseas for his music - that we would still be very much together. Cuz we're tight like that.

Apparently not. It was all in my head. Hmmm...I didn't quite peg myself as being the delusional sort. Now my internal compass has been thrown asunder. I don't know which way is up, and I don't know what my gut is trying to say. It's all gone awry.

I feel so sad. And empty. And lost. I've already cried enough to rival the rain we've been getting recently, and I don't have anything left. 

Of course, this didn't happen overnight. It had been going on for a few weeks now, but I thought we were going to work on it. But you can only want something to work as much as the other person wants it. You can't want it on his behalf, even if you want to with all your heart. He said he wanted to try, but I have a feeling now that deep down inside he had already made up his mind.

I can't help but blame myself. Even if he told me not to blame myself. Mostly because I don't understand how he could have changed his mind so quickly. How he could just stop loving me (and adamantly so), after four years. I can only think that I must have done something so horrible, or done many little horrible things that added up into one big unforgivable lump. So horrible that he cannot overlook it, and so bad that it has now outweighed the good in our relationship. He tells me it's not so, that it's not me...but...if not that, then what?

Well, if I'm not dead yet then surely this is supposed to make me stronger. I still have my 5.2k Run for the Kids race on Sunday. I have to find some things to be thankful for. 

If you're one of our mutual/shared friends and you're reading this, then I'm sorry if this has put you in an awkward situation. I don't hate him but I need to protect myself from more pain and hurt. As you can see I didn't see this coming (or perhaps chose not to). 

So I'll probably not be at things that he'll be at for a bit. Not until I get better. I don't want to put you guys in a situation where you feel like you have to choose sides - I will never ask that of my friends. I'd love for us to remain friends, but I will understand if you choose to see me less, or if I don't get invited to things because he's there. But my ultimate aim is to at least reach a level of civility and possibly even friendship, so that we can all hang out and laugh together again. 

Well, I guess there is nothing left to do but hang in there. Move on. Forward. Onwards and upwards. Even if it's at a snail's pace. But gosh, my heart. How it aches.

It's almost the weekend!

No workout today because I was at this free running seminar at Running Fit.

It was a really informative seminar for a beginner runner like me - it reinforced and confirmed a lot of the things I was already doing right and also showed me where I could make improvements. Brian Schepisi, who ran the seminar, is director of Sporting Spirit and he knows his stuff. Although the session was only about 45 minutes long, he took us through the basics of putting together a training program and even had time for questions at the end. Of course, question time became more of a diagnostic "what's wrong with me?" time, as people mostly had questions about injuries and asking about their own specific injuries. Me included, heh heh. Although I snuck my question in after the session ended so I didn't have to bore people with my life's dramas (or in this case, why the inside of my knee and ankle hurt sometimes).

I think I might soon be getting to the stage where I'll need a running coach/fitness trainer to guide me through building up my mileage, and also to ensure that I remain as injury free as possible!

On another note, I wasn't quite eating properly today. Got to work on time, then got caught up for a good half-hour before I could go get coffee. Next thing I knew it was 10.45am and I still haven't had breakfast. Bad. Bad.

As a result I only had lunch at close to 3pm, and dinner at 8pm after I got home from the running seminar. Lunch was a lamb borek and fruit salad, I had a Kellog's snack bar at the seminar (they were giving them out), and dinner was leftover pork dumplings (five of 'em), stir-fried veggies and mushrooms I 'stole' from Jerm, and rice. I stopped eating after 8.30pm because of my blood test tomorrow. Or rather, I think I'll finally get around to doing that blood test tomorrow.

Oh, and to add to the schedule of busy-ness, we've got dinner on Wednesday next week with another couple of friends, and on the Thursday before the Easter break I'll be catching up with a whole bunch of ex-workmates and we're probably gonna a) drink ourselves silly and b) go eat cheap Vietnamese food or c) both. But first, I need to get these nasty assignments out of the way!

Busy-ness!

The next few weeks are gonna be hectic! Check this out, this is how it's gonna go down (if all goes down according to plan):

Tomorrow evening I'm going to this super awesome free running seminar at RunningFit in the CBD. Oh btw did I mention that I've signed up for the Run Melbourne 10k in July? Not sure if that is ambitious or delusional :P

Friday is my day off work so I can go to uni - or rather, in this case, so I can stay at home and finish my assignments! I'm aiming to go for a run in the morning (let's see how that pans out), then get cracking on those assignments. At 2pm I'm booked in for a Hawaiian lomi-lomi massage at Moku Therapy.

Can't. Wait. For. That! It's gonna be so awesome! Then back home to watch Fringe Season 3 do more work on my assignments (sad face).

Saturday is my friend Doug's birthday dress-up golf party bonanza - we're going to the golf course where his gf works and whack some balls into some holes!

Next Tuesday 12 April the extremely ingenious and crazy wonderful Sir Terry Pratchett will be giving a talk at RMIT. You bet I'm so there. We bought tickets, like, waaay in advance. I saw Neil Gaiman last year, now I get to see Terry Pratchett. File under 'Awesome People from the UK whom I Have to See or Meet Before I Die' (Dylan Moran - check. Bill Bailey - check). My life is almost complete (it will be after I meet Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, Matt Smith, Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman - hah).

Okay, okay. After the upcoming fangirl event I've got dinner with my peeps on Thursday (my peeps being ex-workmates who are also great friends). One of them is getting married at the end of the month, so champagnes all around!

Then...on Saturday next week I've got an appointment with my hairdresser, which I may have to move so that my DOG can get an appointment with HIS hairdresser :P Whichever way that turns out, straight after that I gotta dash to The Boy's new band's FIRST EVER headlining gig at The Empress in Fitzroy! Gotta be there and be supportive, B. E. Supportive! :D

THE NEXT DAY IS RACE DAY. Run for the Kids, 17 April, 5.2k, race day. (cue dramatic music).

I plan to eat KFC after the race  (-_-)

Just putting it out there.

But oh wait, we're not done. The next day (which is Monday in case you've lost track) we're gonna go see the super-mega-talented-and-beautiful-I-hate-love-her Imogen Heap.

After that I will buy lots of hot cross buns, because Easter will be upon us! Can I go without a 1kg chocolate egg this year? After all, I'll have the whole extra long weekend - five whole glorious days - to eat it :P

Okay, so after I inject myself with sugar/cocoa products over the Easter holidays, I will be back at work for two days before...drum roll...we jet off to Malaysia and Hong Kong for one week! Yayyyy!

Remember the friend who's getting married at the end of the month? We're going to her wedding. It will be by the beach. We will swim, and eat lots of food. I will bring my runners and try to stay on track with my running. I may or may not spend most of my time stretching the limits of my belly.

So that's April sorted for me. Phew. I don't even wanna think about May at this stage.

Morning run attempt number "i've lost count"

Talk about being lazy. Daylight savings ended this weekend, which meant we had to wind our clocks back one hour, thereby gaining an hour. My plan - and this is perfect - was to go to bed at my usual, daylight savings hour (10pm) and get up an hour earlier (8am). I would have still gotten my usual number of zzz's, and still be up early for a nice morning run.

Hah. Fat chance. What ended up happening was -

8am: Alarm rings
Me: Mnnhmpph?! *hits the stop button*
Me: *zzz...zzzz*
9am: Boyfriend gets up to walk the dog
Me: *zzz...zzzzz...zzzzz*
10am: Wake up feeling surprisingly rested.

So much for that morning run.

Plus, I've been eating too many carbs today. Marmite (yes!) on 2 slices of toast in the morning, 2.5 potato croquettes (bad! bad!) for lunch, a nectarine and just now I had one slice of peanut butter toast. Oh, and a handful of cheese-flavoured Shapes (bad! bad! bad!).

Weekends are nice but sometimes they throw you off the wagon.

Going to the pub on a school night

Yes, yes, I've still been training, despite all the food posts! Check out dailymile for last week's runs.

Although...I did skip training tonight to catch up with friends. Our friends (who are a couple) bought a place recently and we went to check it out. Had pre-dinner nibblies - crackers, potato chips, cheese, dips, olives - all the party foods I haven't had in a while (eek!)

We went to the Tower Hotel for dinner. Again, I haven't had a pub meal in ages. Decided to share a seafood plate (prawns, mussels, fish, salt n' pepper squid, chips and salad) as I was quite full from the nibblies beforehand. Not to mention we got more bowls of chips (and Burger Rings) to tide us over until the food came!

Sharing was a good idea - I was pretty full when the meals came! It could be just me, and it could be psychological, but I could feel the difference that eating greasy pub food makes. To add to it, I just remembered that I had fried chicken with rice for lunch (Yummy nasi ayam - chicken rice - at this little Indonesian place in Carlton, called Es Teler 77). Luckily not everything on the seafood plate was fried, or I would've probably felt worse.

Well, there's yoga tomorrow (thank goodness, need to burn this off!), plus running on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. The plan on Thursday is to check out the Run for the Kids 5.2k course. And I need to throw in a morning run in there somewhere - still struggling to wake up before 9am on weekends!

And...I have two assignments due in two weeks. Don't I just love my life right now!

Forgotten Fruits high tea at Southpaw Bar, Fitzroy

You've all read (hopefully) about my pastry making (and winning at life!) adventures last week, but did you know that, only the week before, the lovely Sarah M and I had a different kind of encounter with baked goods? Ha, bet you didn't, cuz lazy me forgots to blogs abouts its.

Oh yes. Sarah M and I did have a different kind of encounter with a variety of baked goods on Friday 11 March - the eating kind.

We had tix to the Forgotten Fruits High Tea at a bar/eating place called Southpaw on Gertrude Street in Fitzroy, as part of the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival. The description on the MFWF website said:

"A Fitzroy take on the classic High Tea. Our chefs have sourced the forgotten fruits of bygone years, virtually unknown in this day and age, from independent growers in Daylesford. Experience traditional techniques with delicacies such as rosehip jelly, medlar marmalade, shadberry chutney and more, washed down with a pot of tea or a Pimms cocktail – Tally-ho."

How to say "Om nom nom" in the language of bygone years?

It was a lovely warm afternoon (I was in shorts!) and the perfect weather for taking tea. Or a big jug of cold, cold Pimms. We turned up at the respectable tea-taking/Pimms-chugging hour of 4pm, and were shown to our table, tastefully set in decor from bygone years.

P.S. These photos were shamelessly stolen from the lovely Miss M's Facebook album, hence their smaller size and perhaps lesser quality.

 Nanna rang. She wants her doilies back.

Mismatched china FTW

Here was what the afternoon had in store for us. For $35 per person, we got all that was on this menu, PLUS a jug of Pimms. And tea. This was awesome value - we checked out their drinks menu and normally a jug of Pimms itself is 35 bucks!

The menu

Oh Pimms, how I love thee.

First, the appetiser - ode to a smoked salmon sandwich. Kind of like a glorified canape, but luckily the elderflower and lemon creme made it a bit special. I couldn't really taste the vodka in the vodka-cure salmon, but that could be due in part to me just scoffing it down because I was hungry.

For the omnivores

Sarah M had the vegetarian version, minus the salmon.

For the vegos

Next up, a plate of thinly-sliced, all-kinds-of-smoked-and-cured oink-oinks. From Daylesford (oh how I love that place!)

Mmm...charcuterie.

Miss M, of course, had the vegetarian option: peaches stuffed with goats cheese and roasted red capsicums drizzled in honey.

Not quite the same as smallgoods.

Now, for the main event. Our three-tiered platter of goodness:

Doesn't look like much but we could barely move after all this.

From the top: two types of scones - plain, and pumpkin with toasted almond.
In the middle: gooseberry and coffee tartlette, white chocolate and silvenberry mousse, and the Southpaw Tim Tam - a spiced Medlar biscuit and dark chocolate marquise (no, I don't know what that is either).
At the bottom: ribbon sandwiches. 'Nuff said.

The scones came with three types of jam, and some cream whipped through with vanilla beans. It had a rich vanilla sweetness to it and a light, fluffy, vanilla cream-verging-on-ice-cream texture - if there is such a thing.

Scones and jams and cream and Earl Grey tea.

Up close and personal.

By now we had seen the bottom of our jug of Pimms and had started on the Earl Grey tea. And, while it didn't look like much, we were quite, quite full by the time we were halfway through the scones and sandwiches.

But we had to persevere. Must. Eat. Scones. And jam. And cream.

It was fun trying to identify which of three of the four jams they served us that day - we suspect that maybe the cherry laurel one was missing, but were too full to ask.

The sandwiches were probably the least special of them all. The tea-smoked chicken, while not your typical sandwich filling, was pretty good with the crab apple chutney, but the bread itself was a bit soggy in parts which made it kinda bleh.

We struggled through the desserts, which is saying a lot because I usually just inhale them. The white chocolate and silvenberry mousse was exceptional - the tartness of the silvenberry plus the sweet white chocolate seriously had a party in my mouth. The tartlette pastry cracked quite easily but wasn't soft and yucky, and the Southpaw Tim Tam was an interesting take on the original, although not quite similar for them to actually call it a Tim Tam.

By this time we couldn't really move.

Lopsided from too much food.

The final touch was the palate cleanser - a take on the Eton mess, perhaps? Given that it was called the drunken Eton. The Grand Marnier and brandy jam lent an extra dimension to the cream and marionberry, while the meringue was a clever textural addition.

I'm writing like a wanky food critic.

I could eat a big bowl of this.

All in all, an exceptional afternoon spent with awesome food and delightful company. Sarah M and I are now inspired - we want to try all the various high teas Melbourne has to offer, and report back with uncomfortably full bellies and many colourful pictures. If you know of a good one, tell us!

Results!

Got my official race time today from the folks at the Brooks River Run.

30 minutes 22 seconds!

Can you actually see anything here?!

You can't quite see anything unless you click on the picture, and I can't be bothered posting a better one right now.

I win at life Part 2

So, after winning at life Part 1, I ran my first ever race fun run race! (I keep telling myself it's a fun run, but the competitive bitch in me won't believe it).

The Brooks River Run is probably the best introduction to racing, in my humble rookie opinion. Firstly, it's in the evening (+1!) , not at some godforsaken early morning hour. And we all know that lazy, couch-blobbing blobs like me are almost always not morning persons. It's bad enough not knowing what to expect at your first race without being less than awake for  it. Evening races FTW!

With my cheer squad of two, we made our way down to Coulson Gardens, next to the Maribyrnong River near the Angler's Tavern. I totally didn't know what to expect. As we walked towards the start line and registration table, I saw all these runners doing practice laps and/or warm-ups going by. So this is what serious runners do. I started to feel horribly under-prepared and intimidated.

But...it was a beautiful sunny afternoon and I was getting pretty excited about the race. Got my number and timing chip, fixed them on and did some warm-up stretching. There was a pre-race aerobics warm-up on stage and 5.10pm which was quite fun, although my thighs would say otherwise (damn you, squats!)

Pinning on my race number!

The nerves were slowly building all this while, evidenced by my two toilet trips before the race (my dragon boating coach said being nervous puts pressure on your bladder, hence the need to pee!). I managed to sneak a final toilet trip in about 3 minutes before the start of the 4k. I grabbed a drink from the water station, and placed myself towards the back of the pack, in front of the walkers and pram pushers.

I had a quick chat with the lady next to me who was also running her first race (she overtook me in like the first 1k). The excitement (tension?) was building up. The start was called. I plugged in my earphones, and as the start went off I shuffled along to the start line.

And off I went. Started at what I thought was a reasonable pace. My plan for this race was to start off slow, build up over the next few kilometres and finish strong. That didn't quite work out as well as I hoped. I started getting distracted by the other runners and all these little kids who were running about all over the place. I overtook some people, got overtaken, and tried not to trip over some kiddies who decided they had enough and just stopped in the middle of the track.

The adrenalin and other faster runners made me pick up my pace, and I started to fade a little bit. It was also quite warm, and afternoon sun was in my face pretty much the whole time. Towards the middle of the race I was breathing really heavily and started to drop my stride. Rather than shuffle pathetically and drag my feet, I decided to walk for a minute to recover at about the 3k mark. At this point I learnt my first lesson.

Lesson 1: Stay focused. Don't get distracted by faster pacers, you gotta just focus on your own pace and race plan.

That seemed to work, and I picked it up again for the final 2k. I started to get into the swing of it and managed to overtake a couple of runners who had overtook me earlier (woohoo!). As I neared the end of the course, I was suddenly awash with excitement. The prospect of finishing my first ever race overwhelmed me, and my heart started pounding against my chest. This of course affected my breathing and I had to walk a few steps to recollect myself. I told myself to pull it together - "Stay calm! Breathe!" - and continued. In the last 150m I could hear my cheer squad of two yelling my name, and I sprinted the rest of the way towards the finish line.

Lesson 2: Stay calm. Don't get overexcited when you're 300m out from the finish line like I did, and have your heart nearly explode with excitement that you almost couldn't breathe!

So yeah. I survived. Made a few rookie mistakes, and learnt a couple of valuable lessons for my next race - the Run for the Kids 5k on 17 April (yups! I signed up for that one!). I'm so glad I made it through, although I am disappointed with my time. Still waiting for the results, but unofficially it was about 30 minutes, which was 3 minutes under my time trial :(

Still, I'm happy with myself for making it through, and *insert self-motivating fist pump* it can only get better from here!

I win at life Part 1

Today was a day for winning at life.

In the morning, I made French pastries. In the evening, I ran a 4k race. Both for the first time!

I'll talk about the pastries first. The very lovely and very ladylike (cuz she dresses nice and takes tea) Sarah M and I went to a French dessert cooking class that we found on the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival website. She to further explore her passion for baking and making nommy food, me mostly for sh1ts and giggles.

Well, not JUST for sh1ts and giggles. I like eating nommy food, so thought it would be nice to actually learn how to make them, and also, it was something  I had never done before.

The class was run by Sandra from Chateau Cuisine. She does regular cooking classes - like macarons, croquemboche, French regional cuisine - at the Sandybeach Centre in Sandringham. Due to a bout of wrestling with the antiquated parking machine (why won't you take my coins?! Damn you! $*!@$%^^@#%) and a game of 'Let's Try Not to Get Killed by Cars and the Lycra Brigade on Beach Road', we were about 10 minutes late.

No matter. We got straight into it. Today's attempt is to make four desserts: chocolate eclairs, mille feuilles, and two types of cakes. Can't remember what cakes they are because I left the class folder in...class. Hmmph.

Getting into it.

First we had to make the crème pâtissière for the eclairs and mille feuilles. We made a chocolate one and a vanilla one. Here's Sarah M mixing the eggs and sugar for one of 'em.

Whip whip whip, whisk whisk whisk

Then we made the batter for this cake thing. We put the mixture into cute little camembert boxes. Sandra had a heap of those boxes. Q: How much camembert must one eat to keep supplying a class with camembert cake tins? A: There is no such thing as too much camembert.

I liked how Sandra had already divvied up the ingredients into little containers and bags, so that we don't have to measure anything ourselves. If we did, I've a feeling we would still be in class.

Two volunteers (Sarah M included) cut up puff pastry (quality homemade stuff that came in a massive sheet) for the mille feuilles. I poked holes in them with a fork *stabby stab stab*

We also made the choux pastry for the chocolate eclairs, which was a workout in itself. Ours didn't turn out so well because some of our flour ended up on the stove :(  So it was rather eggy and slightly runny. But we piped them out anyway.

Whipping up choux pastry. Requires big guns.

Glazing our eclairs

This is what they should look like:

Another team's eclairs

Yet another team's eclairs. Damn professionals.

This is what ours looked like:

Slightly sad little baby eclairs

Eclairs in the oven!

The closest I'll come to having a bun in the oven.

Here are the results. Again, this is what they should look like:

Light, puffy, golden brown babies

This is what they shouldn't look like - ours:

Rejects from eclair school.

Runts of the litter, hang together.

At least they looked light and puffy (I think this one shat itself)!

Shiny egg glaze makes everything look better. Unless it's on your face.

They're ugly, but like a deluded proud new mother I can't stop taking photos of my fugly babies.

Now on to the fun part. We assembled the mille feuilles - pastry, top with copious amounts of cream, pastry, cream and pastry. Slap more cream on the sides, top with icing sugar. Nom nom.

They might look like infected snot blocks but I assure you they are delicious.

View from above. Snot blocks covered in dandruff. Mwahaha.

Then to fill the eclairs with the chocolate pastry cream and top them with a chocolate fondant.

We impregnated our eclairs with chocolate

Then covered them in mud.

Our eclairs look a bit very retarded and deformed.

Baby eclairs, with faces only a mother could love.

Focus FAIL.

Now, to dress our little Camembert box cakes. We glazed them with a bit of jam, then added various berries as topping. Glaze with more jam.

Naked babycake.

To dress your babycake first glaze it with jam

Me about to glaze my babycake

Paint, paint, glaze.

Then, add berries and pistachios.

My dressed up babycake!

At the end we got to take home what we hadn't already stuffed into our faces. We didn't have time to do the fourth dessert, but that's okay. I had already seen enough eggs and sugar to last me a week. Some people's cake thing didn't cook properly, which made them sad. Apparently the ovens in the kitchen aren't the best.

I couldn't fit any more eclairs into my boxes (And I had two boxes) so I stuffed it in my face. And nearly fell into a sugar-induced coma. Nearly.

Box o' pastries!

Bringing home our babies.

And the taste verdict?

The eclairs were a bit too chocolatey - we were afraid that there wasn't enough chocolate cream to fill each eclair so we went a bit overboard with the icing - but they were still delicious. Some would argue that as long as there is sugar and cream (and chocolate), all will be good.

The mille feuilles were delicious! If I do say so myself. Haven't tried the cake yet, will do so tomorrow with a cuppa. While watching Fringe (That's when I'll win at life Part 3, I know it).

Well, that was my morning. After all the excitement and sugar, I got ready for the Brooks River Run. Which is where I win at life Part 2.